Bitter Music
by ichkak
Summary: Ichigo – autistic tendencies – obsessed with Grim a TV magician falls into a socially unhealthy relationship. This will be quite adult in content as well as a bit sappy in places & don't expect them to be in character!  AU - not Bleach.
1. Chapter 1

I know I've jumped on the band wagon of Pop Star, but go on admit it's fun yeah!

Ichigo – autistic tendencies – obsessed with Grim a TV magician known as 'Lord of Darkness' falls into a socially unhealthy relationship. However, unsocial for some means perfect for them. This will be quite adult in content as well as a bit sappy in places to & don't expect them to be in character! Oh blimey have I put you off now?

...

It was rather like watching paint dry for one and being at a deep and meaningful religious ceremony to the other. The air was thick with tension, so much so, one orange haired observer was biting his nails, even though he knew he'd get scolded for it, but he didn't care. All he cared about right now was the magic show on the TV.

Raw Umber eyes that danced with gleaming lights of yellow ochre watched entranced as powerful thunderous music flowed out the flat screen that hung on the wall. The set was dark, only one pin point of light focused down on the mediaeval guillotine and the mysterious blue haired man pinning a struggling girl into the instrument of death. Her pretentious struggle irritated Ichigo as much as her fake blonde hair, but his eyes didn't waver from the evil grin on the handsome face. To Ichigo it was as if the show was performed just for him, those blue eyes were only looking at him. That smile was his smile and the whole act was just because Ichigo was watching. TV wasn't just a show for millions, it was in his lounge, in his hotels, in his mind. If Ichigo was bored, then TV would jump to his command, his DVD's would perform for him and that in itself was magic to Ichigo's simplified mind.

When he watched he lived as if he was the room with '**_Herr Von Darkness Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez_**'. The **man** _was_ his friend and lover, the sound track wrapped around his body, filled his senses to the max. It didn't matter they'd never actually met. It was all real to Ichigo.

All those times he's spent alone, locked in his apartment with **G**rim's show playing and fucking himself into an oblivion with anything he could shove up himself and wrap around his cock.

It was real.

It _was_ **G**rim's length impaling him, it _was_ **G**rim's magic rope and bindings that wrapped around his organ and it _was _**G**rim's hand that pumped him until his eyes rolled and his body gave in.

"I know how they do that." A bored female voice erupted unwelcome through the heavy silence. Ichigo ignored her hoping that it was enough to make her just disappear in a puff of smoke just like the lion had done in the previous act. Everyone knew how they did that, it was _magic_ - duh! But it was hard to ignore someone who was running their hands up his naked legs and kissing his shoulder. Couldn't she see he was perched on the edge of the bed to get a better view of the TV? And how could she know anything? It was magic! It was real! **He** clicks his fingers and that's it. It all just vanishes! This girl, what ever her name was he'd forgotten now, was sooooooooo dumb. He tried an irritated shrug to get her off him, but failed.

A messy head of blonde, with bad roots worse than the girl on TV, got in the way of the screen, her annoying hands still trying to get his attention by rubbing his cock. "All you do is watch this over and over and over..." Her lips moving up his thigh made him wince. "Come on big boy, I know something we can do that's a lot more fun!" Her voice sounded funny to him, to anyone else it may have been seductive but to Ichigo it wasn't. It was riled him, it angered him.

It stopped him enjoying the only thing he wanted to do.

He placed two hands on her shoulders and pushed her away scowling.

"I'm watching this!" He tutted immediately turning back to the the screen and the...now ended show.

...

There was a high pitch scream, a crash of broken glass and a mad cackle laughter from the room next door. The four men playing cards looked at each other and as one said, "Ichigo." Their dead pan voices lingered in the air waiting for the next predictable sound and as ever it was followed by more screaming and loud abusive yelling.

"Ya fucking bitch! Get out! Get out!"

"Stupid Jerk!" Was yelled back to the sound of a door slamming. "Ya just some freak you know! You're a fucking kid in a man's body!" Her voice still wailed at the door that had no doubt slammed in her face.

"Gonna sort ya brother out?" Renji drawled looking at Shiro who sighed and threw down his hand. He was tired of this, they all where. Ichigo was losing the plot faster than any of them could stuff a mountain of rock star money inside their pants.

Breaking glass made them all tut and shake their heads. This would be the third hotel and the third TV that met a messy end on a thirteen week tour of thirteen states. Being on the top of thirteenth floors really wasn't going to do the flat screen any good other than make it a whole lot flatter and possibly a hell of a lot wider...only just not all joined up at the same time. "I tell ya, he's fucking screwed in the head." Renji added as if it needed saying, they all knew Ichigo was screw-ball, they just didn't understand the medical shit that was explained to them.

"Yeah says the idiot one." Shiro cuffed the back of Renji's head as he passed.

"Why's he always like this when ever we finish on that song?"

"He just is." Shiro said shrugging as he reaching the door. "Reminds him of what he's lost."

"Yeah his fucking marbles!" Ikkau grinned.

...

Ichigo snorted up the row of neat powder, grimacing and pinching the bridge of his nose as it stung like a bitch, but he still managed to swig a heafty mouthful of neat whisky from the bottle clasped in his hand. It was all too easy to score some powder from the groupies and they always found a body to fuck, girl or boy he didn't much know the difference, didn't much care. The nameless girl had meant as much to him as blowing his nose. The alcohol helped his mind pause, the combination of the drugs, usually gave him some relief from the bitter mind numbing shit his brain constantly rambled on about; it stopped his confusion. Why did she stop him seeing his show? That's all he wanted was to watch it. Now he couldn't and it was her fault. Her fault he got mad, her fault. She'd made him rip it from the wall. Why?

He hated that question. There were too many things that had that unknown element. Things his brother tried to explain but he just didn't get it. It really didn't matter if the why was because the hotel had run out of ketchup or why **S**he had died.

He didn't didn't didn't get why people had to die.

Life was hard, he didn't understand people, he didn't understand how he fitted in with them, how he affected them. All he knew was how much they made an impact in his life and quite often that impact wasn't anything like what he wanted.

Ichigo hated being told what to do, he hated not being told what to do. He didn't like the shadows that watched over him, or the shadows that didn't help him when he was scared. He was often scared. Being in a world of people and feeling so alone, misunderstood and confused was way harder than anyone anticipated. It was way more frightening and suffocating and chaotic.

A blinding headache spasmed across his forehead and his legs threatened to give way. He stumbled back towards the bed, falling just to catching his backside on the edge and screwed his eyes up at the maze of vermilion hues that began to stretch across his vision. He ignored the knocking at his door and the sound of his brother, after all who else would find him hidden in the depths of this basin of sticky candy covered dough that dragged his arms abundant weight downwards.

His eyes stared up as if looking through a pool of rippling water, above him a face indistinct at first but then as his eyes blurred it all came into focus.

Each tear that dripped from his face brought the image clearer and closer. He tipped the whisky and downed the finale third of a bottle, not caring that it spewed from his mouth and all over his face. He threw the empty across to smash on the wall, his hands reaching up to grab the beautiful woman heading ghostly towards him.

"Mom!" He moaned wishing he could reach up and grab her, never let her go again. "MOM!" He called out louder.

...

Shiro stood impatiently waiting as the hotel manager overrode the door scanner. Both men and security guards entered the room. Their hearts leapt into their mouths, their timing catching a naked Ichigo running for the window.

Arms flung wide, screaming for his mother, Ichigo jumped into the blue sky...but not until after his foot caught on the jagged edge of window, his body seemed to slam downwards and outwards quicker than any of them could run and catch the stream of blood or flailing limbs.

"ICHI!" Shiro bellowed rushing past the guards but he was too late.

...

Quicker than Ichigo wanted, his decent finished, the back of his head greeting the TV that cushioned his fall.


	2. Chapter 2

Isshin ruffled the snow white hair of his eldest son. The tear stained face looked up and threw himself uncharacteristically into his father's arms. Sterile hospital smells were familiar to the pair and it was not uncommon to be on Ichigo's behalf, but of late, it had been a little too often for comfort.

Realising what he'd just done, Shiro tugged himself away, head down low hiding his embarrassed blush. He sat back on the plastic chairs he'd been nursing for the past 24 hours and watched his father peer through the observations windows at immobile body on the bed. There was no point in looking, there were more monitors and tubes than body anyway. Ichigo currently rivalled his brother in the pale stakes and was as lively as a wet fish – which wasn't unusual considering really. A nurse was faffing around his readings, noting things on her clipboard and looking very official and serious, it did Shiro's head in sitting in the room and so he found the divider of the door much more comfortable.

"What are we going to do about him?" Shiro asked his strangely silent and for once not absent father.

"I don't want to drug him again you know that." Isshin hated the drugs, he knew the real scientific evidence on the crap they were made of.

"You're not the one having to watch his ass!" Shiro rounded on him.

"And having him sitting in his room, rocking back and forth isn't the answer." No because that broke Isshin's heart watching the boy when he was only nine like that. A whole year of watching him rock and silently crying for a mother he thought would walk in as if she was late back from shopping. On one hand, the drugs had helped without Masaki to watch over him, but on the other hand, it was like watching a living corpse and they'd seen enough corpses in their family.

"He's going to fucking kill himself! Have ya read this dad? Have ya?" Shiro picked up the paper and began in a biting spitting voice reading to his father. "He was always known as a crazy unpredictable rock star, but today, Ichigo Kurosaki probably performed his biggest stunt yet. Recent accounts of his depression seemed to have been validated when at three thirty yesterday afternoon and only hours before he was due on stage in the biggest festival this side of the hemisphere, he threw a TV out the window thirteen stories high and then proceeded to follow that by _jumping_ himself. The event was witnessed by his band drummer and twin brother Shiro Kurosaki who was said to be distraught at the scene. _Distraught! I'd fucking say!" _Shiro said angrily before continuing. "Paramedics were called immediately and although the young man thankfully fell into the hotel pool, he was taken to the Royal Albert Hospital where he remains unconscious yet stable. It really isn't clear whether he jumped to commit suicide or in a whacky stunt to promote the bands New Album." Shiro's voice was filled with his hate of the reporters but also the day on day troubles of his everyday life. "More like off his _fucking skull_ as usual!" He mumbled before reading on, he never seemed to get to the bottom of which roady kept feeding him that shit. "_However_ reports are coming in from witnesses that his wrists were bandaged and he'd been drinking himself to oblivion all the hours he wasn't performing. Amaya Nitta, Kurosaki's latest girlfriend, _girlfriend! One night fucking stand more like! _ Was _concerned _when the singer drank heavily. 'Ichigo is very misunderstood' The glamour model says. Glamour my ass, topless more fucking like. 'But in bed, he would be hard and hurt me. I was so scared. We had a row about how many times he wanted sex so I had to leave." Shiro snorted at the blatant lie. "Fucking bitch." He sneered at her picture. "Ichigo was drinking and doing drugs, he didn't even know who I was. I think I really love him and I'm going to be right by his side till he wakes up. The busty model proclaimed." Shiro lowered the paper and made a deal of looking around him. "Well she ain't fucking here is she!" He cracked the paper back open giving his dad a pointed glare. "...Nothing is clear, but whatever the reason, Ichigo Kurosaki, seems on a path to self-destruction." Shiro looked at his father direct in the eye to repeat that last sentence. "On a path to _self-destruction_. As much of a fucking pain he is, I don't wanna loose another brother dad. Ichigo ain't the only one who lost someone." Shiro had said it before, but his father was still in denial. Or guilt more likely. He'd shoved Ichigo onto Shiro, the girls to an aunt and lost himself in his own grief for the wife he adored in the only way he knew how, work.

Isshin sighed, he looked at his son with genuine tiredness for once instead of his fake bravado.

Shiro waited for the arsehole to ignore him yet again and watched him with disdain as he sat next to him taking the paper away and carefully folding it.

"I know I haven't been the best dad."

"Che...ya think?" The albino twenty something shook his head.

"It hasn't been easy..."

"Ya didn't even friggin try! Don't palm me off with this shit!"

"With Ichigo's problems..."

"What ya fuck know about them besides some medical list of symptoms! Ya ain't there dealing with 'im! Ya don't even fucking know 'im. Na ya don't know either of us!"

"I had work..."

"Ya had four of us dad! We'd lost our maam and brother!"

"And I lost my WIFE!" Isshin lost his temper. "Fuck!" He scrubbed his face hard and forcing himself to calm. "I'm sorry. I am sorry." He was sorry that he hadn't been there for them, sorry that Ichigo didn't get the care he needed, sorry so fucking sorry he'd even had Ichigo in the first place. He hated to think it, even if his brain did keep revolving around the same topic, but it should have been Ichigo that died, it would have been easier on them all. As much as Isshin loved Ichigo, he was his son after all, he just couldn't help the traitorous thoughts.

"Fur what?" Shiro knew his dad had a guilt complex bigger than the planet and he wasn't about to hear what the man was really thinking.

"All this...everything. I'll deal with it. I'll sort him out." Isshin put on one of his smiles he'd lived with these past years and put an arm around Shiro's shoulder.

"How?"

"I don't know. But you've got a life and your band need you. Just concentrate on that hey?" Shiro looked with distrust at the hand patting his knee.

"That band ain't anything without Ichigo. He's our fucking singer. He writes the music."

"He does?"

"Old Man!" Shiro shoved the arm off him and stood to prowl around the hallway. "Ya really sumink you know!" He itched for a smoke or punching his father, really it was a tough call to decide which.

…

Ulquiorra stood by the doorway listening to the rustle of the newspaper. He waited eyes fixed on a position the other side of the sofa. It was pointless in trying to barge into Grim's morning routine. The man had to do things how he wanted or else the resulting mood would be far worse. So even as important as he was himself, and we knew how important as he held a full to bursting point 'big sized' filofax to his chest.

The large diary was rather over inflated like the man's ego really, but it had been a gift from Aizen Sosuke the CEO of his agency as a reward for getting Grim on their books. The man however as irritating he was, earned the company a fortune and was therefore allowed some leniency; even if other company directors, Kaname Tosen for one, objected. The diary was large enough to be used as a shield or protective barrier to the puny body behind it and every morning he made good use of it – probably the most useful it ever was really, at least in Grimm's point of view. His eyes remained glued to the spot he couldn't see near the fire place.

"Stupid brat." Grim's thirty two years qualified him to call a twenty two year old a brat.

"Who?" Ulquiorra used that as his cue to approach the table, he knew his route there without looking, his eyes were after all _busy_. He had no idea that Grim had a running game going on to see how long he could make the little ass licker wait. The record so far was four hours twenty three minutes and seventeen seconds. Timing was everything in his line of work.

"Ichigo Kurosaki." Grim smirked at the rigid black outline of this stuffy official, his own eyes darted towards the fire with an even bigger smirk.

"Who?"

"Ya work for an agency and ya don't fucking know!" Grim rumbled with his irritating laugh whilst shoving the paper at the little man's boring face.

Ulquiorra allowed a very quick flicker away from their important vigil "The singer."

Grim pushed himself away from the table, his fingers plucking a raw steak from the elegant breakfast tray. He knew Ulquiorra was following out of some morbid curiosity, but carefully keeping himself behind Grim and his fat diary.

Grim felt smug as he stalked to the very large lion curled up on the rug by the open fire.

"I don't work with trash." Ulquiorra's green eyes watched the beast chomp the meat down in one bite, he was scared witless of the thing _not_ that he let it show or so he thought.

"Worth millions that kid." Grim let the lion lick his fingers knowing Ulquiorra was counting the same millions his fingers were insured for. Really it would only take a little push to make the sad fucker piss in his boots.

"Talentless trash do not... concern me." The man faltered, much to Grim's amusement when the lion got up from his lazy sprawl on the floor and made itself comfortable on the sofa, its head resting on the arm rest near Ulquiorra's leg.

"Ahh he wants a stroke." Grim ruffled the mess of orange mane. "Go on stroke him." It was a hard task not to openly wet himself laughing watching the hand shake as it reached towards the lion, even harder when the man jumped a mile when the King of beasts lifted its head and licked the skinny white fingers.

"Play nice Pantera." Grim warned his pet cat sitting on his lap and with a handful of furry skin tugged the lion onto his chest. "We don't want to repeat what ya did last year do we. All that blood on the carpet." He cooed into the lions face and rubbed his cheek against the lions. It was all an act really to hide his huge fat smile from the man shaking in his boots. The mornings really were a huge thrill. Worth getting up for anyway. "What's on the books fa today?" Grim ruffled his baby's fur and listened to the fat beast whimper its approval with the back ground noise of diary pages being flicked.

"Charity promise. You said you would visit a children's ward."

"Can I take my baby?"

"No."

…

Shiro was bored. Bored bored bored. He stood hands in his pockets, his body like a rigid board leaning upright against the observation glass but with just his forehead touching the cool surface. Ichigo was still appeared to be out for the count. A nurse passed behind him opening Ichigo's door. The stubbled face of the young man watched her read the vitals and redress the bandage on his leg which made the rousing figure draw up his face in pain.

Shiro bounded into the room calling his brother's name.

"Ichi?"

"Grimm?" The kid rasped. Shiro held back his annoyance and tutted.

"Oh did he hear us talking?" The nurse chatted as she flashed a torch in the confused Ichigo's eyes which he tried to swat away. "The nurses are all excited. Another celebrity visiting."

"When?"

"G'off." Ichigo murmured turning his head towards his brother. He didn't want to be touched, he was sore and felt rough, people pawing him was the last thing he wanted. "Grimm?"

"Na Ichi." Shiro muttered. "S'me."

…

"Please man, he's just a little kid really. Come see my brother he loves ya shows, 'bout tha only thing he'll shut and be quiet for. Really man, he's a kid in a man's body and he's sitting in a hospital, fucking miserable…and I don't know...fuck, he needs this, please...I'll do anything." Grim had continued to walk, he'd done his bit and was being led off by the stiff shirted Ulquiorra, who currently was looking at Shiro like he was dirt on his shoe. The albino rock star had had the cheek to grab his shirt sleeve and refuse to let go, trying to almost tug him back into the inner sanctum of the hospital where he'd been on the stalk for the past day waiting for the elusive magician.

"Quit ya fucking whining." Grim finally said tugging his arm free. "Ya look pathetic when ya beg ya know."

"Cute too hey?" Shiro winked his devious mind wasn't above a little acting when he had to. Even if this bloke wanted a blow job in the bogs he'd do it, or that creepy shit that would fit into a Halloween parade.

"In ya fucking dreams shit head." Grim stood hands on his hips deliberating. It wasn't for nothing that he knew who these guys were. Ichigo was shit hot and Grim has always had a thing for the hair. Like him, though, he figured it was a stage thing and dyed before each tour. Curtains and drapes those were the questions he wanted to know about the singer.

"Made ya agree though din't it." Shiro grinned his own version of creepy and Grim found himself shivering, goose bumps riding up his arms and his dick flicked in his pants.

"Anything ta shut ya up."

…

Drugged on painkillers Ichigo was too whipped to do much more than mope and cry and think of every miserable lyric he'd ever heard or written. They all brought him back ta one thing. He looked at the tatty lion teddy clutched to his chest. He lifted it closer to his chin and nestled down in the thread bare fabric. He was so absorbed in his own misery he didn't hear the door open.

"Ichi?" Shiro's pale head reached out with a tissue and wiped a tear from his cheek. "Give me tha teddy, did bloody Yuzu bring it?" Ichigo didn't respond more than hug the teddy tighter. His brother was a bastard that would only take it away from him and hide it. It was just as well their little sister was on his side. "Look at me Ichi…" Shiro tried to yank the toy free, but Ichigo kept his gaze away from his brothers. Grabbing his brothers chin he again tried to make eye contact, which was a struggle on a good day. "Will ya just look at me once!" Shiro begged, he knew that Ichigo was in one of his more compromising moods when he would give a brief flick of eye contact. But not today.

Grim had stood in the doorway watching the interaction, or more to the point lack of. Meeting celebrities in the flesh had always been a disappointment to Grim, they always seemed so translucent, flaky and poor imitations off screen. His previous assumptions of Ichigo was that the kid had some kind of scitzso personality. He was always bright, wearing colours that clashed and looking quite vulgar; yet...there was a vulnerability just lurking waiting to be crack through. Watching him with the teddy, he looked down right pitiful. Pale, weak, lethargic. But shit the kid had jumped, JUMPED from a thirteen story building into a fucking duck pond! If that wasn't someone crying out for help he didn't know what was. Thinking back to his brothers analogy of a kid in a adults body he was right. He did. Yet again something was off kilter. There wasn't a kid here, there was a lack of childhood. A kid would have acted differently, a kid would been scared of that height. No, that was an adult who'd missed being a kid and all those lessons in what stupid things ya shouldn't do and yet ya done 'em anyway, only to learn that listening to the adults was in fact a fucking good idea; who the shit would have credited it!

"Ya know, I've got a real one of these." Grim's voice burst in without interruption into the conversation. Ichigo was so stunned he'd allowed the man's larger hands to pluck the dirty thing from his hold. He looked it over. "Pantera. Ya seen him on telly?" Ichigo dumbly nodded. "Big mother fucker he is now, but once upon a time he was about this big." He shook the teddy to emphasise his point. "Wanna meet him?" Ichigo shook his head. "Na? He's right friendly to strangers, finds em real tasty!" Grim chuckled.

Shiro reached out for the teddy, hoping Grim would just hand it over so he could tuck it away out of sight and stop his brothers brooding. Grim held it up high above Shiro's reach. "Ah ah ah no yours kiddo." Grim shoved the teddy back to Ichigo. "Ya want 'im don't ya?" Ichigo's trembling hand reached out and Grim smiled. "Good kid."

"Don't." Ichigo said softly taking the teddy and holding it tight again.

"What?"

"Patronise..." Ichigo glared at the blue haired man just shy of his eye, he wouldn't look at even Grim's eyes cos that made them get into ya head. "Not a kid."

"Not what ya twinny said here. Ya know you two are spookily alike, minus the orange course."

"Not." Ichigo pouted glaring at his brother. "He's not my twin." His foot lashed out to kick Shiro off his bed and he grimaced when the injured leg protested at the movement.

"Hey, serves ya right for kicking!" Ichigo snorted annoyed and turned away from his brother laying himself down and putting the teddy on his pillow in line with eye sight. Grim nodded to Shiro's slide of the head towards the door. It was time to leave and let Ichigo sleep. "Not my twin." Ichigo's voice was quiet but it penetrated the silence as the man stepped out. "Triplet. Three of us. One two three...Kon." Ichigo tugged the teddy to his chest and let out a sob.

"Ah fuck it Ichi give me the damn teddy, I knew ya'd do this!" Shiro launched into an all-out tussle for the teddy and Ichigo screamed as it was snatched away.

"Bastard. Give him the fucking thing if he wants it!" Grim's impatience showed through as he took a turn at snatching the teddy and held it out for Ichigo. "Now you, you just shut up if I give ya yeah?" He growled at Ichigo. "Blubbing over a fucking teddy, ya said ya weren't a kid." He pushed the teddy forward into Ichigo's body. "Have ya damn teddy."

"NOT MINE!" Ichigo screamed. "KON'S!"

"Listen I don't give a fuck whose teddy it is, I didn't come up here ta be shouted at, who the fuck do you think ya yelling at!" Grim put a hand on Ichigo's shoulder. "And jumping out that fucking window, what were ya high on drugs?" Ichigo nodded and it was then Shiro noticed that Ichigo had not only stopped crying, but he was looking right at him. Grim was quietly pushing his brother back down flat onto the bed. "Stupid idiot. Wanna kill ya'self?"

"I should already be dead. Not him!" Ichigo blurted out. "I killed him. I killed her too!" Shiro gasped at Ichigo's outburst. He'd never spoken about it, never said what had happened, it had just eaten away at him all these years and turned him into a crazy nut case.

"What the fuck ya talking about?" Grim rubbed his brow, this wasn't what he had in mind for a Friday.

"Kon! I threw the ball! And he...he ran for it..." Ichigo eyes were somewhere else now. Somewhere years ago when two eight year olds were on their way home from Karate classes. "Mum said not near the river, _be careful Ichigo_. I threw it and it went right in, right in and so did Kon to get the ball. Only he didn't come out...Mum screamed and went for him, went to get him...she didn't come out either! I killed em, I threw the ball. I didn't listen. I didn't mean it, but...i didn't want him gone..."

"Its ya brothers teddy?" Grim asked into the awkward silence that followed the outburst. Ichigo nodded looking flushed from his anger. "Stupid fucker. So how old were ya?"

"Eight." Shiro answered looking at Ichigo. "All these years and ya never said nothing?"

"I killed em." Ichigo of course wouldn't look at Shiro like he had Grim.

"All these years...Fuck Ichi..." Shiro began to rub his brothers hair, soothing the angered face.

"I killed em, I did it. Ya hate me Shiro, hate me now?" Shiro felt the bile rise in his throat but he shook his head a little dazed by the news.

"Eight?" Grim shook his head watching the boy. He wanted him back, wanted a hug from his mum, the only one who'd ever understood him. "Stupid fucker. Don't ya think ya mom knew the risk when she went in?"

"Kon didn'"

"Na, but he shouldn't have rushed off neither." Shiro sat on the bed opposite to Grim and took his brothers hand. "Ya never said. Why now?" Ichigo looked ready to cry again. "Why now?" Shiro repeated but he knew Ichigo's talkative side had retreated and he wasn't going to get anything out him. "I lost a brother too. Mom too... Ya don't see me being all stupid about it. Nah, but you...Well fuck ya take the biscuit on that don't ya." Shiro snapped his hand away. "I deserve to know damn it!" He finally lost his temper and his irritated glare was only met with Ichigo's retreating figure, tugging the covers up and Shiro tutted as Ichigo mumbled about feeling dizzy. "What ever. Maybe the wrong fucking brother died!" Shiro didn't mean the words but he'd said them anyway and now he was pissed at himself too. "Ahh fuck it." He shook his head and left the room. Dealing with Ichigo was always such hard work and it always fell on him and right now with that little revelation he didn't have the energy.

Grim didn't quite know what he'd just got himself involved in but he sat like a gooseberry on the side of the bed. For a man who'd pleaded about making his brother feel better, Shiro had done a sure fine job himself. He let out the longest sigh he thought he'd ever done, ran his hands through his hair or tried to. When he went to lift his hand he realised that Ichigo had gotten hold of his sleeve and was running his fingers over the silky inner lining just inside the cuff.

"What's ya elephant called?" Ichigo's voice whispered up.

"Yammy." Grim began to slide his white jacket off and placed it over Ichigo's prone figure. Long musical fingers slid around the edges and pulled it close.

"Kon liked Lions."

"So I see." Grim snorted and gave a playful tug of the teddy's ear. "Bet he never got to see the real thing?"

"Dad took us to the zoo. Member that I do...Monkey's and snakes...Panther's"

"Pantera was meant to be a panther. I thought it would be cool to be on stage with a sleek black cat prowling around. They look so fucking powerful don't they?" Grim chuckled. "Then the box arrived, big fucking box too, and inside was a cute bundle of orange fluff." Grim ruffled Ichigo's hair. "Lil scaardy cat he is, needs a real kick up tha ass to get on stage."

"I saw 'em."

"Who?" Grim was thrown for a loop here.

"Dad don't say it...but I know. I know before I killed 'em I were different...stupid...anyway." The boy shrugged gripping the turquoise silk to his cheek. It smelled of Grim and Ichigo found that scent somewhat calming. He liked the feel of Grims big hands on his shoulder, it felt safe. He'd always watched the shows, pleaded to see him but their work never matched or his manager didn't want him to which was probably more the case. They all thought Ichigo was a bit weird and they didn't know how to control him, so instead they contained him. Kept him locked in the house, babysat. Didn't they know he had wings and he needed to stretch them? Couldn't help stretching them, pushing out to the freedom and all that space he had to touch. His family thought he was 'maladjusted', brought on by childhood trauma, he'd heard them talking when they forced the sedatives down his throat each night. Not on tour though, Dad and his sisters were miles away back home and Shiro couldn't be bothered. Shiro's idea was to let him hang out. He'd find some groupies that wanted to fuck him and let him have his way. The roadies would feed him various pills and potions, get him all the drink he wanted and he'd spend the time either high as a kite or flaked out. No one realised he didn't need any of that to get high. He always was high. High, freaked out and bubbling with energy that didn't wanna stop pumping out. His hands or his feed would usually be tapping away, his fingers writing pretend lyrics in thin air and his mind on overload thinking of too many things at once he'd miss the things he was meant to be doing or seeing. He didn't understand people, didn't know what they wanted off him. They'd wanna look him in the eyes and make him listen, forcing his head to still and look at them. He'd be yelled at, to sit still, behave, be normal, what the fuck was all that? What was normal?

Why'd he have to be different? Mom knew, she knew he was 'special'. She hugged him, kissed him and whispered in his ear. Told him he was wonderful, told him he was her special boy...

"I saw 'em in tha sky..." His eyes were distant and Grim frowned as one arm reached up as if to grasp hold of something just out of reach. "I wanted to go to 'em." The kids eyes welled up and he shook his head. "Too far away...Just...too far..." He buried his face in the plush lion and Grim sighed, he was no doc, but this kid was one screwed up fucker. The press were bang on there. One thing the press weren't right about was Grimm was a fucking sap who hated to see anyone upset. He inwardly groaned and dragged the limp figure to his lap, the orange hair clashed brightly with his blue trousers but he didn't give a fuck about that. He cursed as Ichigo hissed in pain, the back of his head pulsed and his leg pulled at the stitches. "Sorry." Grim apologised. His fingers ran through the orange mop and the boy seemed to calm after a while.

"Hurts good."

"What?"

"Hurting...Like it...want it." Grim frowned and dismissed it and Ichigo slipped into a tired sounding little song. "Cage me, tie me down. Burn my skin, get my arm and bend around...show ya love, hurt me more...make it bleed and weep for sure...love tha pain ya inflict on me...love tha pain ya inflict on me..." He sighed and rubbed his head against Grims hold almost purring as his hair was tugged tightly by accident. Grim registered the smile on his face and wrapped his arms tightly around the thin body on his lap.

"Thirteen stories man... that's gonna be too far for anyone."

"I jumped." Ichigo's face was serious. "I ran and jumped."

"Ya could have died."

"My fault." What compelled Ichigo to start talking to this man who should have been a stranger, he couldn't say in words. All Ichigo knew was that this man wasn't a stranger, as being able to watch him on TV made him a friend. It brought Grim into his home, his life. That made him a friend, someone he knew. The reality that Grim was just a moving picture on his screen, no more an acquaintance than the bank manager, didn't get a glimmer of understanding from Ichigo. His life was skewed, his reasoning skewed, his understanding not that of a normal person.

"As I see it kid, to kill someone ya have to be the one with ya hand around their throat." To emphasise his point, Grim held Ichigo's neck but from around the back and applied a little pressure. "Get it?" Ichigo nodded and Grim went to move his hand away but Ichigo reached up behind his neck and held him still, pushing his own fingers tighter making Grim keep his hold just on the verge of painful. Grim frowned but the kid sighed and closed his eyes, tiredness dragging him down at last and it felt good to let it for once.

Ichigo, didn't want that hand to move, since Grim pulled him over, his mind had stilled. It cleared. His words slipped into his thoughts and drifted quietly, not like Shiro's who'd be banging around his skull. Grims hand just made him feel as if he was touching the earth, keeping him in a flesh coloured castle safe from everything that assaulted his senses. Grounded.

"How the fuck ya do that?" Shiro wasn't too quiet when he came back in.

"What?" Grim grunted.

"He's a fucking sleep?"

"Yeah?" Grim wondered at the big deal.

"Man unless he's knocked sideways by pills he don't sleep."

"Keep your voice down!" Isshin followed his son cuffing the white hair as he passed. "Mr Jag..."

"Grim'll do."

"I'm sorry my son should never have imposed on you." Isshin glared at Shiro.


	3. Chapter 3

"Ichigo, what are you doing here?" Ukitake rubbed his temple at the vision dressed in pyjama's.

"Song." He shoved the music almost into the man's face, but then he was already almost standing on the same spot. Personal space wasn't Ichigo's thing, not when he wanted to talk to someone.

"A new one?"

"I gotta play it."

"Look, I'm happy that you have been working again, but the studio is booked. Can't you see I have an orchestra in today?"

"Violin!" Ichigo looked wide eyed at the instruments and Ukitake wondered if the kid was high yet again, he seemed to be trembling and rocking on his feet just ever so slightly side to side, not in a demented way, but just like an excitable child. His hands were gripping the sheet music with a death grip and his face was contorted in almost agony but yet trying to appear so calm at the same time. It was a strange mix and he really didn't have the patients to deal with the boy now.

"Yes yes violin. I'll call your brother." He walked away, muttering to himself whilst Ichigo stood on the spot burning with the effort it was taking him to control himself. He just wanted to burst forward he was so happy about his newest song, he knew it was a good one, he could feel it in his bones. He had to have someone play for him, anyone and the four piece orchestra waiting looked as good as candy to him.

"Shiro I thought you had a watch on Ichigo." Ukitake drawled into the phone.

"Yeah and?" Ukitake looked through the glass into the recording studio and tutted at Ichigo showing in a rather enthusiastic way, his music to the violinist. The poor man looked startled but he was at least playing ball by pretending to be interested in what Ichigo must have been blabbering on about.

"Fetch your brother for me. He's here and he's as high as a kite."

"Fuck, he's escaped hasn't he?"

"Hasn't he just. Do you know how much the rental on these rooms are?" The artists currently being invaded were not professional and it had taken them ages to save up.

"Give us a sec then. Don't let him get away."

"If you couldn't contain him how can I?"

"Fuck knows, just play along with him or soming!"

Ukitake put the phone down as the violin struck up a haunting rhythm.

"I'll sing it one last time for you..." Ichigo's voice, naked and not hidden behind loud drums sounded so beautiful it caught in Ukitake's throat as the flute began alongside its companion. "...I can barely look at you..." The music drifted on and Ukitake found himself immobilised on the spot, it was the most incredible thing he had ever heard Ichigo perform. The emotions running through the kids face were mesmerising, he was stunning, totally wrapped within his lyrics. He wasn't just singing, he was living it, breathing it, being the music and words. The trance state ended the moment the music did and Ukitake was forced back to reality as Ichigo was bouncing off the ceiling with the thrill of performing. He was right, he knew he was right, the music was brilliant.

"Well? Well?" His wide eyes were alive and his face lit in a smile.

"Rehearsal over, from the top if you don't mind gentlemen." Ukitake raised his hand to Shunsui in the recording pod to signal to record and the man gave his thumbs up. "Ichigo, back to the mic."

Like a school kid the boy whooped back. Ukitake leaned against the wall crossing his arms. What the hell was he going to do about this artist, it was more than a roller coast ride, it was the Rocky Horror show instead, tacky but brilliant.

Shiro paused at the glass doorway and peeped through the porthole not wanting to disturb the recording. Ichigo's face, eyes closed was one of perfect concentration. His hands clasped on the headphones, his mouth moving with precise shaping and his head slowly rocking to the rhythm in his heart. He sighed, wished he had half Ichigo's talent, but he was doomed to always be a follower in his brothers rather large shadow. Sometimes it sent him mad with jealousy, others though, he was in awe of the raw talent Ichigo had. Fuck it, he loved the shit in his own way, loved him, adored him, scared for him, scared of him...but then, he wouldn't change him for the world.

Palms flat on the door, he pushed his way into the pod and sat with his chest leaning on the back of Ukitake's chair.

"Any good?"

"Does the lovely Nanoe love me?" The bearded man beside him answered.

"You know she don't stupid!" Shiro laughed. "Its all in one sided man."

"You kill me." Shunsui held his heart. "But, Ichigo...can't you hear it?" They sat a moment listening and Shiro let his head fall onto the long grey stands of his boss.

"Yeah. That fucking good." The older man laughed under his hat.

"Shiiiiiirrrroooooooooo!" Ichigo almost flew through the air at his brother. For his part, at least Ichigo was happy. At least there was that. "Ukitake's gonna make my record." He swung round to face the old hippy. "Now. Do it now?"

"Now? Ichigo these things take time." Including contracts for artists that he now owed money to instead of the other way round. Still it wouldn't do them any harm to be associated with the publicity that surrounded Ichigo. No publicity was bad publicity and all that. Since his stunt and cancelled tour, Ichigo's band was selling quicker than they could press the disc's.

"Gotta be now, gotta be. I wanna give it to him." Ichigo bounced on his feet.

"Him?" Shiro frowned drawing himself some water from the cooler.

"Grim." Ichigo answered with a smile.

"As in Grim? Grim Grim?" Ukitake looked a little surprised.

"He can do magic!" Ichigo smiled. So was this another thing to add to the list of Ichigo's eccentricities, now it included loving men?

"You could always sing it." Shunsui was a little surprised to suddenly find himself bonked on the head by a half full cup of water.

"Baka!" Shiro cursed as Ichigo's eyes lit up. One thing Ichigo never did was forget. Now with that idea planted into his head, Ichigo was going to be unbearable.

...

Grim was pissed that the fucker was following him. Why did he have to bug him now about extra work, wasn't he booked out enough? Didn't he bring enough readies to the damn agency that they had to book up his every moment. He wanted a break and they seemed hell bent on not letting him have so much as an hour to himself.

He stormed into suite swinging the door to with great force, but not enough to get it closed in his shadows face, it pushed open again with the stoic man's hand and that damn diary to his chest.

"Grimmjow, I don't believe we have finished our conversation."

"The fuck we ave." Grim growled back, needing a stiff drink and throwing off his tie and jacket at he walked through the living area. These shoes were a pain, the trousers a pain the shirt too starched, he just wanted to chill for a while. His feet stormed towards the bedroom and more and more annoyed with each step as the dark haired bastard followed only a step behind him.

"The show needs your confirmation."

"Well just confirm I ain't gonna be there!" His hand gripped the door handle as he turned to yell. He didn't want to be watched as he undressed, not by the green eyed dick anyway. He didn't have a problem with his body, just with the sad git who had invaded his home.

"The show has the highest rating at that time of day, it is just the kind of coverage we have been looking for."

"You you mean. I ain't be looking for nowt. I'm fucking shattered and ya wanna push me more!"

"I don't feel that we are booking you enough."

"Look." Grim turned with one sharp pointing finger and prodded the idiot where it would hurt him, in his diary. "I'm a skilled entertainer. My acts takes time to work on, I need ta practice. I need time ta think of som'ink new. Find props, train the crew, trial it, blah blah blah. I can't just pull a proverbial rabbit out tha 'at!"

Ulquiorra was not sure that left to his own devices that Grimmjow would do any of this preparation, he would more likely goof off and spend the time sleeping and bedding unsuitable people.

"I can arrange a venue for you to do so. I will take you there right after the show and you may have one day."

"A day!" Grim shook his head in disgust. "Ya don't have a fucking clue." He turned away, knowing hitting the guy would not do him any good and slammed his door open wanting to storm in and really get the bastard in the face this time. Yet his stopped frozen in his tracks, his eyes opened wide and his dick sprang to life.

Ichigo lay on his side on his blue haired idols bed. He was spared being completely naked by the use of Grim's long tailed work jacket and the magic top hat sitting upon his head, but otherwise, his taught torso was open for the world to see as he had cuffed his hands behind him. His long legs were spread wide with one raised up to show his arousal at being so close to the overpowering scent of the man he wanted to take him. His eyes showed how far along his imagination had taken him, his screw me face just cried out to be slapped, spat at and covered in cum. His bottom lip stuck adorably behind his front teeth, his hips thrusting into nothing but his imaginary lover, left moans and wanton groans to slip seductively out.

"Fucking hell." Grim cursed.

"And now I see why you are trying to evade me."

"Ya didn't let him in?" Grim wondered without letting his gaze leave that stunning vision on his bed.

"As if I would allow such trash inside."

"He ain't trash!" Grim roared pinning the smaller man to the wall and suddenly realising his outburst meant his brain had already sorted out his feelings but just not bothered to tell him personally yet. "Just get the fuck outta my house."

"I will remind you of your schedule."

"Fuck the schedule, I got company. Go suck their buts and get some b rated wanna be stand in for me."

"Your contract states."

"Screw the contract." A deep needy moan came from the bed forcing both men's attention back to the writhing figure on the bed. Grim cursed under his breath and turned to his unwanted guest. "Now get the fuck out or I'll get Pantera to show you the door." It might have only been a tiny outward sign of fear, but it was satisfying enough for Grim and had the desired effect.

All he had to do now was crawl up the bed like this… Grim's body rubbed dangerously low on the cute little body enjoying his mattress and smirking at the lustful moans it created. God this kid was too damn sexy for his own good.

"Sure ya should be here."

"Need ya." Ichigo moaned and lifted his hips to rub Grims bulging trousers causing the older man to hiss through his bottom teeth.

"I would ask hows the head but…" He paused as Ichigo leaned up to lick the small triangle of skin showing at the base of his neck where he'd undone his top buttons. He hummed and leaned down to kiss those succulent lips. Tongues willing, they lapped and flicked each other. "Fuck." Grim pulled himself up, to look at the singer with relatively clear eyes. "So fucking hot Ichi."

"Yeah. Fuck me Grim." Ichigo writhed more, so already close to coming with his idol this close, the memory of those lips against his.

….

Ha ha! Cliffie. Or should that be Cliffie with a stiffie!

What a lame joke.

Anyhow. I wanted to put so much more into this chapter, but then it would have been a million miles long and I was busting my gut trying to write it all. Time is not on my side.

I wanted to go a little into Ichigo's mental state as rightly pointed out to me in a lovely review from Kyuu90. But I'll hold fire on that until it is part of the story. Please just keep in mind that not everything Ichigo does is based around having some degree Autism. This story is not meant to portray the condition exactly as no two people would be alike anyway. There is a lot more going on in Ichigo's head that influences his reactions.


	4. Chapter 4

This is dedicated to CreotiaFlayier! Not much, but hey, its better than nowt.

* * *

SLAP

.

.

.

Ichigo woke with a start, his hand firmly around his cock, the feeling of Grim on his body and his brothers cackling laugh in the background. The sharp impact on his forehead a start wake-up call.

Unfocused eyes accompanied a whine with Grim's name slipping off the aroused tongue.

"Wet dream Ichi?" Shiro laughed grabbing a magazine off the table and flopping into a slouch into the hospitals visitors chair.

"Grim's not here?"

"Nope."

"Ahh." Ichigo pumped himself more. "Want Grim." The orange haired moaned.

Grimmjow adjusted his jacket, saw that the blinds on the kids room were down, so he thought he better enter quietly in case he was asleep. As the door opened Grim's eyes met momentarily with golden brown and the look of heady lust, the movement of a hand on an exposed dick made the guy freeze in place.

"Ahh, Grim…" Ichigo moaned eye slipping closed.

"Fuck!" Grim cursed, eyes wide shooting out the room. He leaned against the door, his own cock tight in his trousers and the echo of his name on Ichigo's lips only much more fevered. There was an evil laugh of the white brother and Grim rubbed a hand over his face as Shiro's first meeting came back to haunt him. Ichigo liked him.

Liked him.

Like that.

Lustfully.

As he leaned against the door, his ears twitched listening to the sounds of Ichigo's louder and louder moaning and damn the bastard's voice was killing his restraint. The kid had looked so bloody hot.

Ichigo had no problem dipping back into his fantasy, no problem displaying his sexual desire with his brother in the room and thoughts of any more visitors entering. Shiro didn't make a move to stop his brother, he was more than used to Ichigo's low social understanding and with Grim standing like a frozen rabbit at the doorway, no one was going to get through anyway. He found it funny to peer over his magazine at the stiff set of shoulders pressed into the door blinds, the guy was listening, seriously listening to his brother wanking. Maybe there was an added bonus to getting the man interested in Ichigo after all.

Back in Ichigo's mind…

"_What ya want from me?" Grim sighed shaking his head as if that wasn't obvious already. His body peeled away from the hospital door stalking towards him. Ichigo's breath hitched._

"_Fuck me." He panted._

"_Fuck you?" Grim grinned. _

"_Yeah." Ichigo moaned. "Nooooow…" He shivered sliding a finger into his sweet little pink hole. He'd never really felt a man in his ass before, but he knew the magician would feel good. "Fuuck meeee Grimmmmm." Ichigo arched his back, his stomach was jolting with the need to come building perilously close. "Want it…" Ichigo continued to buck up into his hand, his finger was joined by another with a deep grumbling moan._

"_Ichigo. Do good boys get fucked?" The blue haired man was only a kiss away from his nose, hot breath swept over Ichigo's face but he wanted that hand again, to feel it on his throat, tightening and tightening. Oh so tight, grounded by the man's touch, his body heat hovering just over him, the scent filling his mind, the darkness of his aura lightening his world._

"_Errrrmmmm" Ichigo nodded keenly so close now._

"_Do good boys do as their told?" The boy nodded too far gone to talk. Grim snagged the boy by his chin. "Fucking come already!" He snapped back. "Fucking come, make yourself come!" The voice Grim used shouted power and control and Ichigo felt restrained and chained by the intensity of it. |The older man stalked across the room to sit in Shiro's chair to watch the boy begin to pant and moan. Ichigo's eyes were intent on Grim's like he'd never looked at anyone before. No snatched of a look, quick glances or borrowed connections, this was a full frontal looking into Ichigo's soul and he wanted the man there, inside not only his body but to invade his mind too. They watched him, those blue eyes, watching him knuckle deep inside his ass and it was a bigger turn on than the TV. The real Grim was here, looking, watching, responding and Ichigo knew it was Grim's cock buried in him not fingers, not imagination. He was taken._

_Four fingers made him stretched and whimper, Grim would be big, too big and Ichigo moulded his thoughts to feel a hot pulsing penis not four frantic fingers. His palm was Grim's mouth, around his shaft sucking and licking his arousal. Those blue eyes, like the sky. The sky that he jumped into, hadn't been anything but a leap into his idols mind. |They were joined. They were one. _

"_Am I?..." Ichigo panted out heavily. "Am I yours?"_

"_Ya have to be a good kid." That smirk was for him, praise for him alone._

"_Wanna be… wanna be Grimm's…" Ichigo began to loose his rhythm now under Grim watchful stare. He was exposed, every part of him, each snatched breath, the ripe sweat flush of his skin and the absolute handing over of his life, his body and his soul. _

"_Gonna be my slut are ya?" Grim grinned and Ichigo moaned in delight. "Show me then bitch, show me ya face when ya come." _

"_Wanna…" Ichigo's breathing heightened. "Griiiiiimmmm." Ichigo screamed loudly as his cum shot from between his fingers and up his stomach. _

Shiro sat with his mouth open, his eyebrows raised, his own cock straining. Every word that Ichigo said looking at him had his guts churning with want and he'd never had that from a man before, let alone his older brother. Shit. Ichigo was a fucking bastard doing that to him too. He threw down the magazine and turned his head away from the spunk covered man panting in the bed with disgust. He groused from the room, not even amused by the dishevelled looking celebrity still clinging to the door furniture that fell into the room with the abrupt opening of the door.

"I guess he's your problem now." Shiro spat as he prowled down the corridor for a willing nurse to heal his aching shaft.

Grim didn't know how long he stood there, staring. Dumfounded. Confused. Aroused.

"Oh…OH!" A buxom nurse with long auburn hair and a face that shouted virgin. Hands to her blushing cheeks she gawped at the singer who still lay in his own mess, naked, drowsy and looking very very fucked.

"Scram bitch!" Grim snapped grabbing the woman by the arm and thrusting her towards the door.

"Erm erm…His meds." She stammered as he tried to shut the door on her. Grim followed the line of her vision to the metal trolley she'd already wheeled in and the white cup of tablets.

"Med's right." Grim nodded. "Yeah will do."

"Oh but… You can't…" She tried again from behind the door.

"Bugger off woman!" Grim raged heading towards the sink, throwing the hand towel under the hot water and soaking it fully.

Ichigo watched dazed as Grim's soft caress began on his stomach, but he couldn't look at the man's face.

"Fucking idiot." Grim grumbled. "Ain't ya." Ichigo's head turned away, eyes closing against tears that suddenly wanted to spring out. Everyone called him names. Everyone but Kon and his mother. "Ya ain't to do this again Ichi ya hear me?" Firm fingers grabbed his chin and made him look at the blue eyes boring down on him. "Do ya?" From the coufused watery eyes Grim knew he didn't understand what he was being asked. "Stuff like this shit." He rubbed the boy harder now, his anger coming through his actions. "Ya do this shit in private not where someone will find ya!" He said exasperated. "So from now on its at home right? That poor nurse! Or me!"

"Want you to see." Ichigo whispered.

"I ain't done talking so shut up!" Ichigo gulped and nodded but his chin was released whilst Grim worked on cleaning around his privates and then his hands. The touch became less and less angry to the point it was a soft reassuring massage. Ichigo's body relaxed and was soothed, his eyes mesmerized by the way the bigger hands moved over him. Grim's words become softer too, sorry even for being cross. "When people like each other, they ask things right?" Grim saw he wasn't looking at him again and sighed but he continued. "Like, on a date or something. They don't show up naked, nor fuck em selves…shit…do you know what ya did to me?" There was a little shake of the head even if the eyes didn't meet his own. Grim walked away, throwing the towel in the sink to forget it and came back to the bed and gently covered Ichigo up. Ichigo frowned and took a chance at looking up at Grim rewarded by it with a smile, smirk style and those blue eyes now looking at him with something different to the way everyone else looked at him. There was no hurt, no anger now, no disgust, hate, fear or sorrow. No element of 'Oh Ichigo what have you done now.'

"Want ya meds?"

"Asking me?" Ichigo looked surprised.

"Course I'm asking." Grim frowned. "Well? Do ya hurt?" There was a pause as Ichigo thought about all the parts of his body that ached him before and nodded just a little, but then there was always the meds that made him sleepy, made his head foggy and his thoughts slow. He didn't like them. Which was worse? He kinda liked the pain, especially now Grim's fingers were skimming the bandages. He wanted pain, sort of felt that he should because he made his mum and brother leave, made everyone hate him. He knew he was different from everyone else, he was told about it enough. Naughty people get punished and now it had got the point that he sought punishment to get attention, to get some kind of contact and reassurance that his other special people were still around him.

"Hey earth to Ichi?" Grim's voice chuckled in his ear with a soft slapping to his cheek. Golden eyes looked back to the blue haze and smiled. Grim felt his breath hitch. The boy was beautiful and his long slender fingers looked so right in his own as Ichigo snagged up a hand. Soft lips kissed each finger and Grim wondered what the kid was up to until he placed his larger hand over his throat.

"Been naughty." Ichigo whispered pressing his hand over Grims again like he had before, throttling himself.

"I gotta go soon. I can't stay like I did before." The eyes frowned and Grim cursed himself. "Hey, don't get all bratty on me, I tell you what." He stood up tall and began to unfasten his tie. "Here, look after this for me." He slipped the tie around Ichigo's neck and tightened it up. Ichigo's fingers felt the silk fabric running around his neck and lifted the blue material to his nose to sniff the scent of aftershave. Grim chuckled tightening the tie again just a little too tight and watching how the boy physically relaxed. "Ya know, I've gotta shit load of things I can tie ya up in, hell, my acts all about tying up some shithead and keeping 'em there till I release 'em."

"Date? Take me on a date? Grim? You like me too?"

"Yeah kid, I like ya too." He ruffled Ichigo's hair. "Be good, listen to ya brother and I'll take ya on a date okay?" The kid nodded.

"Wrote a song for you."

"Well shit, for me?" Grim looked a little stunned.

"Dreamed it…" Ichigo tugged lightly on the tie. "It's good."

"Then next time right, when you've been good…" Grim left it hanging because Ichigo grinned widely and nodded, he got the idea. Blue nail polished fingers smoothed the tie. "Sleep then yeah?" He said again tightening the tie and watching his now official boyfriends eyes begin to slide close. He'd never once had a proper type of guy in his life, guess this time was no different. Normal sucked anyway.

Once he was sure Ichigo was asleep he loosened the tie and neatened the covers again before heading off late to the meeting with Aizen he'd been avoiding by coming here.


	5. Chapter 5

Creeps in quietly posts an update and slinks out. Hopefully no one will notice how long its been...

Here we go boys and girls just setting the scene a little more. I know its short, but come on, talent such as this takes time...ducks flying tomatoes and makes a run for it.

* * *

It was the sort of office that nothing disturbed the peace. There was a still air, scared of causing drafts, a clock that breathed in relief when it lived to tick another second and keyboard tabs that hated to echo in the wide open space too loudly.

"Aizen-sama?" Ulquiorra didn't understand why the unusually stoic man was chuckling at the images of Grim leaving the hospital and the headline rumours of an amorous affair with a certain rock star residing in the hospitals top rooms. The broadsheet newspaper was spread the width and breadth of the fine oak desk and had been read with military precision from one cover to the other. The reader had paused and returned to the leading stories. He smiled at the image of his most eccentric client.

"Is there any truth in this?" His manicured fingers tapped the paper headline and the green eyed subordinate did not flinch from his opinions. Diary clenched to his breast as if a testament of his authority to speak his mind, he did so with his head raised high, sure it would be met with the usual approval.

"It would appear not. I have told Grimmjow that romantic liaisons are a waste of his time and we will not tolerate such deviance from his contract."

Aizen leaned back in his chair, leaning his arm on the rest and lowering his head to the gathered fist. He stared at his minion for a minute longer than necessary before speaking. "You consider the lead singer of Japan's most popular band Ichigo Kurosaki a waste of time?"

"The boy is trash."

"I believe we can turn this to our advantage. You are to encourage the relationship." Ulquiorra was confused but he didn't let that show. "There is no such thing as bad press Ulquiorra. Grimmjow has already cultivated an image of wild rock star, his dating a genuine one can only add to his appeal in the wider market. For him to link up with such an outrageous character, can only raise his profile in the media; maybe even internationally."

"Kurosaki is male." Ulquiorra stated it as a fact.

"Even more scandalous then." Aizen lifted the corners of his mouth. "Find out all you can about the boy, I want to know it all."

"You wish to represent the boy also?"

"I want the boy to date Grimmjow. Who knows maybe we can sign him up and take advantage of the large quantity of people who follow him too. This could be very lucrative Ulquiorra. Very."

"Yes Aizen-sama." The dark haired man gave a stiff waist bow.

"Good then I am sure you will go out of your way to see the pair are seen in a…compromising situation."

...

Shiro sat with his father in Ichigo's consultant room. The grey haired man had been flown in as he was all too aware of Ichigo's medical history. Ishida Ryuken wasn't a cheerful man at the best of times but now he almost seethed. His face was stern, his body language taught and curt much like his speech.

"…so you say you could not predict that _Ichigo_ was likely to take his own life?" The cool eyes burned into Shiro's and it was as well he wasn't someone easy to intimidate.

"I spend most time wid him, course not." Shiro shrugged. "He switched don't he. One minute bastards happy and the next he's screaming down my throat for disrespecting him and fuck if I know what sets him off."

"Had something _set him off_ this time?" The tone patronised back at him.

"Na fuck had it. He had a bird and was watching that Grim magician on the telly. We'd set him up nice."

"Ermm so it seems…" The doctor looked at his notes. "His bloods were quite…floral shall we say? A nice cocktail of substances prone to make the sanest man consider his pitiful life and do something reckless. Yet we know Ichigo is far from the most rational at the best of time." The eyes looked up although Ryuken kept his head motionless. The beady irises bored into the young albino. "And yet…." He paused for effect watching Shiro narrow his eyes back.

"I didn't give 'im that shit!"

"And yet, your reckless care allowed it to happen? And need I say….again?" Shiro was beyond angry at being blamed for his brothers close call, but in truth of the matter, Ichigo was his responsibility by default. Default of his crap father who was patting his knee like he was a little old dear and trying to calm his eruptive temper.

Ryuken felt a small modicum of pity for his old friend Kurosaki Isshin, the man had not been blessed with even one son like his own. For all his faults Uryuu was a dedicated follower of tradition and held the qualities of a great leader if he could turn his focus away from busty females & womanly crafts for long enough. No poor Isshin suffered from three sons who let him down, it was a shame that the most mouldable of the three triplets died with their mother and left the two most useless behind. It didn't matter that in their own field the two saw success beyond what anyone could have ever imagined.

"I have spoken with Ichigo." The grey haired doctor began again. "And despite his emotional state at the time, can't ascertain whether it was a genuine attempt to end his own life or some misguided drug and drink fuelled incident. It is quite impossible to get much sense from him at all other than a deep rooted emotional reaction to anything regarding his mother."

"She was so good with him." Isshin was tearing up. "The best mother a kid like him could have had!" All others in the room refrained from rolling their eyes at the man's usual over acting.

"Quite." Ishida flinched as Shiro smashed his father in the face and rubbed the bridge of his nose with a restrained sigh. "That being said Kurosaki, the fact remains that Ichigo requires someone else to watch over him instead of this…this…"

"Just you fucking dare." Shiro shot to his feet pointing a finger. "You try to lock him up over my dead body!"

"If you had done your job better…"

"He's had a chance at some normal fucking life with me! He don't need no fucking baby sitting!"

"Drink drugs and rock and roll are hardly normal. Debauchery with various females and an unhealthy obsession with a _fictional character_ are hardly normal, surely even someone like _you_ can see that!"

"Yeah, Grims so fucking fictional he's been to visit Ichigo twice now and as far as I can see the two of 'em get along just dandy." Shiro wasn't about to say exactly what he'd witnessed but the two older men stilled in their movements.

"Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez?" Isshin whispered. Shiro nodded. "With our Ichi?"

"Yeah. Right fucking cosy too." Shiro smirked when his dad scrubbed his face with his hands.

"Gay too? He's gay on top of everything else?" The father shook his head in his palms.

"What's wrong with that?" Shiro frowned. "Ichigo's happy. Sleeping wif a huge smile on his stupid face. When'd ya last seen that huh?"

"Gay?" Isshin shook his head again. "OH Masaki! What am I to do with all this? You'd know, only you would know!"

"Shut up you fool!" Ishida senior lost his own temper. "I have little time for your antics anymore. I recommend placing someone with your son to oversee his life, someone reliable and dependable." He shot Shiro a look confirming it wasn't him up for the job.

"Ryuken, you'd send your own son to help me!" Isshin shot up from his feet and shook the man's hand vigorously. "How generous an offer, of course it makes complete sense! He's such a good boy. Come come Shiro, the matter is solved and we can both rest better now."

Ryuken sighed and tutted. Send his boy! What utter nonsense.

...

There was a shadow. Ichigo had been standing in his own bedroom freshly released from hospital, looking at his shadow. shadows were something he identified with, comforted by, fascinated with. But this shadow was…HUGE. It engulfed him. Ichigo disappearing like his brother was something that scared him whitless. His eyes widened & with a torturous slow turn his head seemed to swivel owl like and inhale with utter horror at the hulk standing right up in his space behind him.

Ichigo looked up. And up. And up. And up.

"Fuck." He breathed out like a frightened rabbit at the grin that greeted him. His body shrunk down to a crouch and he began to shake his head. "Ya gonna eat me." It wasn't a question, Ichigo felt it to his core.

"For breakfast." The man laughed his belly shaking and was that tinkling?

"Who? Scratch that! What the fuck are you?" Shiro' s lilt thundered through the room.

"Bells!" Ichigo laughed and launched himself up the human tower to reach them. Shiro quickly grappled his brothers skinny ass and the tower himself laughed louder as the three fell to the floor with the two siblings crawling over the riotous laughter of their intruder.

"Oh party time! Where's my invite?" Grims voice ever piercing stopped the antics dead. Three pairs of eyes looked his way before a squeal and blur of orange tackled the blue head to the floor too.

Shiro had always thought they lived in a mad house, this finally confirmed it. He looked at the man he appeared to be holding down by the throat, but he doubted he have any chance of keeping him that way if he really wanted to get up.

"Answer the fucking question." He menaced at the one eyed man who only needed to paint himself green and walk right into a seventies remake of the hulk.

"Kenpachi." He replied with a wink which when the other is covered by an eye patch just looked seriously wrong against the backdrop of that evil grin. "Ken the psychiatric nurse." The two turned their heads at sounds of disgusting happiness to the left of them as Ichigo laughed at Grims magic skills of the old coin from behind the ear joke that was turning into the coin from up the nose and even out the eyeball. Gross. "I'm here for ya lil bro." Shiro begrudgingly began to climb off Ken and looked to Grim. "And how the f'ing fuck you get in too!"

"Doors open." Grim shuffled himself into a sitting positing and propped himself against the wall as Ichigo snatched the coin and poked it in his ear. The magician began to laugh as Ichigo changed to his nostril now that he found the money wouldn't actually fit in the first orifice. "Dirty boy." Grim pinched the penny back and tutted at the pout it produced. Damn that looked cute, he wanted to suck that bottom lip into between his lips and make the kid mewl.

"They." Shiro talking to Ken pointed at the pair. "Are your problem now." He chuckled and shook his head before letting rip with a full on cackle. "Oh so not my problem woohoo!" He knelt down before his brother ruffling the orange hair and watching for the quick flit of eye contact before Ichigo ducked his eyes back down. "You got a new playmate. Ken this is Ichigo. Ichigo this shit head is your brand spanking new minder, don't break him." A frown appeared on the boys face a familiar look of confusion as the brain ticked over the words.

Spanking. His eyes flitted to the new comers hands. They were huge!


End file.
